Forget Paris. Forget Britney.What we need is a real star. A great big sizzling hot one.
We need Mr. Sun.
Yeah, I know, he's a good 93 million miles away. But in our instant gratification society, I can't help but wonder why that should matter. He's no stranger down Phoenix way, after all.
According to weather stats, Phoenix, Ariz., gets the most sunshine in the United States, a good 3,752 hours a year. No wonder they call their basketball team the Suns.
Other contenders for the sunshine capital title are Texas cities Fort Worth, El Paso and Amarillo, and Albuquerque, N.M. The Southwest gets everything. (So much for Florida, the self-professed Sunshine State. Hey Gators, just because you say it doesn't make it so.)
Chicago? Well, we're way down the list. We get about 2,645 hours of the tanning agent each year, and most of those are crammed into May, June, July and August.
Needless to say, we spend the rest of the year missing Mr. Bright Skies.
So here we are, on the outer edges of another long, cold, dark winter - kind of like an extended eclipse.
We need relief. But that's a good month or two away.
Meanwhile, all we can do is look on the sunny side of life.
• The sun is a star made up of hot gases. It is about 4.5 billion years old, but still shining brightly.
• The temperature of the sun is 27 million degrees Fahrenheit - enough to melt your iced-over driveway for sure.
• The outermost layer of the sun is called the corona. Good name for a tropical beer, no?
• The sun is 109 times bigger than Earth, and yet it is only a medium star.
• According to Australians, a sundowner is a man who arrives at a party too late to do any work but just in time to eat. Gee, know any of those?
• Sun worshipping is hardly new. Ancient sun gods included the Egyptian Ra, the Greco-Roman Apollo, the Hindu Garuda and the Aztec Tonatiuh.
• The sun is essential in the production of vitamin D. It enables photosynthesis. And it diminishes Seasonal Affective Disorder.
Without it, we'll just have to make do with whatever sun particles we can find.
Here's where you can catch some rays:
In song
"Here Comes the Sun" by the Beatles.
"Good Day, Sunshine" also by the Beatles. Hey, the Fab Four were from Britain, a dark, dank place where residents know our pain.
There's Terry Jacks' "Seasons in the Sun," if you don't have enough things to cry about already.
The Fifth Dimension's "Aquarius/Let the Sunshine In."
"Total Eclipse of the Sun," wait, that's not what we want.
"You are the Sunshine of My Life" by Stevie Wonder.
And, of course, how could we forget John Denver's "Sunshine on My Shoulders."
At the grocery store
Sunny Delight beverages.
Sun-Maid raisins.
Sunshine Biscuit Co., makers of Hydrox chocolate sandwich cookies, Cheez-It crackers and those scrumptious Vienna Fingers.
Sunkist citrus, as well as Sunkist Fruit Gems and Fruit slices candy. And for those in need of wake-up call, Sunkist Orange soda, which has more caffeine than Pepsi and Coke.
At the movies
"Little Miss Sunshine."
"Empire of the Sun"
"A Raisin in the Sun"
"Tears of the Sun"
"Under the Tuscan Sun"
"Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind"
"A Place in the Sun"
And, of course, that famous 1973 hit "Sunshine," starring Cliff DeYoung, which was followed by "Sunshine Christmas" in 1977.
If none of that works, you always can fall back on the ancient ritual known as sun dancing. That's right, Native Americans didn't limit their spiritual calls to rain dances.
During a sun dance, participants were known to sing, dance, drum and even have their bodies pierced. If you decide to go that route, might I suggest you stick it where the sun don't shine. Chicago.
Source: The SouthtownStar
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